Since I didn't have a blog during my pregnancy at all, I'll just make it short and sweet then skip to my daughters birth. In June I was feeling off. I had been on the pill, but forgot to take it regularly. After a week of vomiting and fatigue, I took a home pregnancy test, and it was positive.
I was shocked. I had already had a horrific miscarriage (will post the story later) and I thought I could not get pregnant. Lo and behold, I was. My boyfriend, Enrique was ecstatic. So was I. At the time, he was 19 and I was 17. We were worried about finances and the like since we were so young. But it wouldn't stop us from loving and cherishing our baby. Long story short, I had horrible morning sickness.
At 20 weeks we found out it was a girl. We decided to name her Ava Rose.
The rest of my pregnancy was very healthy and filled with joy and anticipation. Then, at 38 weeks and 5 days, the joy and anticipation grew three-fold. I had been cramping a little bit, and decided to go on a walk to see if that made me feel better. Enrique and I were strolling through our neighborhood, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. My first real contraction. No sir, this was no Braxton-Hicks. This was a bonafied labor contraction. I kept walking and they finally kept coming and were so painful that I had to go home. We got home a few minutes later and they stopped. I took a nap and relaxed. Fast forward 3 hours, they're coming again. I had to stop and hold on to something when they came.
Enrique helped me to the bathroom and I hopped in the shower. I yelled for him and told him "this is it!". So he got the camera and our bags ready. I got out of the shower and headed to the hospital at 11:30 pm. After waiting min the ER for 30 minutes, they finally took me to an L&D room. I got changed and hooked up to the monitors. Every 30 minutes, I was taken off the monitors and allowed to walk the halls. I walked, bounced on the birth ball, and did squats. I was dilating surely but slowly.
Fast forward 10 hours. I'm at 6cm and fully effaced. My OB and I agreed to break my waters. Everything sped up and got more painful pretty quickly. Fast forward another 4 hours. I'm at a 7 and in unbearable pain. After 14 hours of labor, I needed relief. I had planned on a NUCB, but I couldn't do it anymore. I got the epidural and felt awesome. We all hung out (me, Enrique and my dad) for about 3 hours. I fell asleep for a few minutes but woke up because I was just too darn excited for my bundle of joy to arrive. All of a sudden, the contractions were feeling different. The epidural was wearing off and I could feel everything. It felt like I needed to take a giant dump! I kept telling my nurse I felt like I had to push. She kept saying "it's just the baby moving down". I had to use every ounce of energy in my body to resist pushing. After 10 grueling minutes, the nurse finally checked me and I was complete. This was it. The nurses got everything ready. They wanted me to hold off on pushing, so I tried my best to. My OB was 20 minutes from the hospital. He finally got there and got suited up. I was crawling up the walls and moaning and trying to handle the pain. He came into the room and said "okay, you can push." When he said those words, I felt everything. I felt fear, joy, anticipation, pain, worry, anxiety. I started sobbing.
I didn't know what to feel. I was obviously so excited, but I was so nervous. Was she going to be okay? Was I going to be okay? Will I tear horribly? Will I need a c-section? The most terrifying thing was not having her in my belly anymore. My baby was going to be in my arms, not my belly. I was going to feel her skin, her hair, all of her, instead of just her kicks and little punches. Was I ready? No. Was I ever going to be ready? No. I had been so anxious to have her, just to want her right back in me forever. In her safe, cozy home. These thoughts ran through my head all at once, for half a minute. But then I snapped out of it. I had to do this. It was my time, it was her time.
I started pushing. It was painful, but such a sweet yet bizarre relief. I definitely felt the ring of fire, but it felt good. I got over my fear and couldn't wait to hold my beautiful girl. 20 or so pushes and 40 minutes later, her head was poking out. Enrique looked at her and started crying. In that moment, I looked at him and fell in
love with him all over again, in a way I've never known before. I kept on pushing, with a refreshed sense of drive and energy. Her shoulders were out. I reached down, touched her head, and was filled with motivation once again. I kept pushing. She was ready.
My OB pulled her out. I was exhausted and in a daze. The OB had the bulb syringe and squeezed out the gunk in her nose and mouth. He laid her on me, and there they were. Her first cries. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. I started sobbing. Tears of joy. I couldn't even begin to comprehend how incredibly and beautiful she was. I kissed her, snuggled her, and loved her. The love I felt when I first saw her hit me like a train. I felt love like I never had before. My sweet, precious rainbow baby was here, in my arms. There was nothing else in the world but her in those first moments. I took her all in, she took me all in. And we were one. From that moment on, we were inseparable. We still are. She is my sunshine, my everything. She is truly my soul and she is my heart. There are no words to describe my love for her. It is so deep, so true, and so beautifully painful. My heart aches with love for her.
Ava Rose, born February 14th, 2013 at 6:42 pm. 21 and a quarter inches, 7 pounds and 5 ounces.
Today, Ava is happy and healthy. We have been successfully breastfeeding since an hour after her birth. She will be 4 months old on June 14th. She weighs about 14 pounds and is almost 26 inches long. She had her first belly laugh a week ago. She is close to rolling from tummy to back, and she coos up a storm like its nobody's business. Enrique and I fall more in love with her everyday, and every moment with her is the greatest moment of our lives.
Welcome to our life.
No comments:
Post a Comment